Respect? RSVP…..

Its a new year..and party season is over. And as I reflect on those weeks leading up to the new year…I think of the all the angst I had. Yes. Angst. Not that I was throwing so many parties…but I did arrange two, one was a charity event in early December, the other a retirement party in January. Instead of paper invitations, I went the route of using PaperlessPost, which if you are not familiar with…is the same as Evite..electronic invitations. Easy to send…even easier to respond. You receive the email…you click on it and then you click either yes, no or maybe. It takes less than 15 seconds. Why then is it so hard for people to RSVP? I even sent reminder emails as the date got closer. Still no response from several people, I take that as a no (but its rude). 30 yes responses and about 10 no responses. That means planning food and drinks based on that number. The night arrived  and there were a number of “friends” that replied yes..and never showed. One had even just emailed me the day before for directions. I never heard from her again….is it that hard to let someone know you can not make it? Do people think that its not a problem to commit and then be a no show? or do they just not respect you enough to care. If you can’t make it for whatever reason than say so. Its just not nice…to me …or the other attendees. It shows you just don’t care. People spend time and money to plan food and drink and you are invited for a reason. Have some manners and respond accordingly.

After that date passed, I was stilling waiting for responses for my second event in January. Again, I had to pull teeth to get some responses from a known group that had all agreed to take part in this dinner. Maybe some of them thought they didn’t need to answer the invite, but I attached a note, to please respond so I could have a clear number of attendees to give to the restaurant, and yet still, a few people did not respond. At the final, they did indeed “tell” me they were coming. Last week, we had the dinner, and surprise surprise, two people did not show. No notice, no email to me, nothing. Two empty chairs. Did they not respect me enough? moreover did they not respect the person we were honoring enough to at least let me know at the last minute that they could not make it. One, its just not nice and two, it doesn’t look right to have two empty chairs, a clear sign that two people committed and then did not show up, and did not give notice. Our honoree didn’t know who those two were as this was mostly a surprise. But I knew. It’s not respectful of other peoples time and effort.

There just seems to be a lack of respect maybe due to the fact these invites were sent by email…does that make them not as important…more frivolous…that you don’t “really” need to respond.  Do you not respect the person who invited you enough. Where are your manners if at the last minute you can not make it? I am not perfect, but I do always respond, and if something comes up and I cannot attend, I do send a note, as hard as it may be.

You do need to respond, that’s why there is an RSVP. For those that did not take high school french…that translates to Répondez s’il vous plaît, respond if you please.

Deborah Monosson

President & CEO




One thought on “Respect? RSVP…..

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s